Monday night’s class dealt with all the stuff I didn’t want to think about. Unlike some of my friends, I’m cool with the c-section. My mom and one of my aunts had to have a c-section, so I’ve kind of gone into pregnancy resigned to the fact that it’s a possibility. One of my good friends had one in August. Frankly, if the baby’s in trouble and needs to get out fast, cut me open!
I went into the class scared to death of forceps. I’ve just heard too many horror stories of babies’ heads being crushed or something. I know it’s kind of an irrational fear, but it’s my fear dammit. I’m a hormonal pregnant woman and I’m allowed to have these irrational fears if I want. I was very glad to hear that most of the doctors and midwives in my practice prefer to try the vacuum thingy before they reach for the forceps. But hearing the midwife talk about how the forceps work and how experienced a lot of the doctors are made me feel a little more confident. I’m still hoping it doesn’t come to that (of course what mom WANTS her baby to be pried out with forceps) but it’s less of a phobia now.
I’m much more scared of an episiotomy. See, when I went into this, I wasn’t thinking of possible damage down there when the baby came out. I thought the worst case scenario might be a c-section. No! Getting cut on my lower abdomen is one thing, getting cut DOWN THERE is somethng else entirely. But apparently the cutting shouldn’t hurt too much because first they’ll give me anaesthesia….by poking me down there with a freakin’ needle! Now the ex and I have done some kinky stuff in our time, but getting poked with needles wasn’t one of them. Sure, I considered accupuncture when it was taking me a few months to get pregnant, but there’s a reason I kept putting that “magic bullet” off.
The best part is we got to see slides of a giant vagina while the midwife used a laser pointer to talk about where the anaesthesia needle would go in and where the cut might go. That’s when I felt sick and grabbed the ex’s hand. He was supportive but said later he couldn’t believe I was more scared of the needle than the actual cutting, “cause the needle’s just a little prick.” Well, would you think it was just a little prick if it was going into YOUR prick? It’s easy to be nonchalant when it’s not YOU that’s gonna get this!
But as scary as an episiotomy is, having some tearing down there scares me even more!
You know, I actually like being pregnant. After that class I’m thinking maybe I should just let her stay in there forever!
