Last weekend was my shower and I had such a great time. I had friends and family and family friends all come together to celebrate the fact that I was having a baby. My two aunts threw it for me…one of them cut short her anniversary trip with my uncle to be there for me.
The food was good and the gifts were better. But what was really great was the feeling of love. Every person in that room loved me and cared about me enough to take time out of their day. Every person there wanted the best for me and was excited about the little girl that is coming. A few of my friends had thier babies there and we got them together and talked about how much fun it would be to get all the babies together in the future.
For months I’ve felt unloved and unworthy of love. I’ve had days where I’m brokenhearted and not even sure I deserve to live. I constantly worry about whether or not I’ll be a good mom. I’ve wondered how I’ll do it on my own.
But as I looked around that room, at everyone from the friend I’ve known since I was born (we even have pictures of us on a swingset together) to friends who have become wonderful friends in the past few years to family members who were recounting the day I was born to my friend’s 7 month old reaching out for me and jabbering and laughing, and I realized I wasn’t really alone.
Every single person in that room is ready to lend support if I need it. They all think I’m going to be a great mom and that I’m up for the challenge. They’re all ready to dispense advice and hugs and anything else I need that they can give me. What they don’t realize is that each one of them gave me a gift more precious than what was in the wrapped packages and gift bags that filled the room. They gave me hope, love, and confidence in myself.
