My daughter is here. It was a long labor that culminated in a c-section when she couldn’t move down any further — she was facing the wrong way and somehow got stuck. I started running a high fever and managed to get up to 104 degrees. The baby was up to 102. But the important thing is she got here safely.
The ex was with me the whole time. He stayed in the hospital with me till we got released and was a huge help. Of course his being nice to me stirred up a whole mess of other issues.
I am so in love with my little girl. I look into her big blue eyes and want to give her the world. Sometimes I can’t believe she’s really mine. I wonder if I’m good enough to be her mom. Sometimes I’ll be holding her and she’ll snuggle up to me and sleep contentedly….the way I used to snuggle with the ex and fall asleep content in his arms and my heart just melts.
I try to be happy for her. I try to show her my strength and my love. I hope she only feels my love and doesn’t pick up on the wistfulness that comes over me sometimes. Please let me be a good role model for her. Please let me be a good Mommy.
