Yesterday was the first day I worked away from home. I’m going to be working 1-3 days a week at the office, which fortunately is less than 5 miles away from my mom’s house. Since The Ex is part owner of the company, I’m also making it so I usually don’t have to come in the same days as him, today was just different because he sets up all the computers so he had to be there at the same time as me to set things up. It was hard on me leaving Little M for so long (and it really wasn’t that long considering I came home mid-day) but of course she did fine.
The Ex came over in the morning before work and got to see some good smiles. He fed her a bottle while I took a shower. He has his own poop incident now….she had diarrhea and it leaked out on him, but he was able to get cleaned up before work. I think he enjoyed seeing her anyway. He remarked on how big she’s getting and what a cutie she is. It was actually pretty hard on me having him take care of her while I got ready, cause all I could think of was how things should’ve been between us. I hate myself for missing him, but I do. When it came time for me to go to work, it was really hard. I knew she’d be with my mom and she’d be fine, but I just didn’t want to leave her.
I came home during lunch and fed her. Of course she fell asleep nursing.
When I came home, my mom was feeding Little M a bottle. Her eyes locked on me and she kept following me with her eyes. I was so glad to see my little girl and hold her again. She snuggled up with her head on my chest and her arms around me….it just grabs my heart when she does that. But anyway I survived my first day away from my baby and despite the fact that I had been dreading it all week, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
